I know it's been a while. I've been insanely busy at work, but so thankful to have a job I love so much. I have been thinking of something though that I thought I should make time to write about.
I've started to realize just how much of a problem I have with disappointment. I hate being a disappointment to people and I too often feel like I am. It's extremely hard for me to get over. And maybe I take things to heart too much only because I hear how much others talk about people behind their back. I'm certainly guilty of that to a degree, but I wish that never happened. I wish this were a perfect world where everyone talked about their problems with the person they have the problem with.
But I still think even if the person told me they had a problem with me, I'd still take it so personally and cling to that longer than I should.
Recently I've been feeling like I'm letting down a lot of people because of my job. I've had to cut back my paid blogging job (and I was always the go-to girl when they needed something), I have had to give up other commitments to friends, church, H's school, family, and I've had to give up a lot of parenting duties to my husband who is suffering in the sleep department.
I feel like I'm letting these people down.
It hurt me to give back a sewing project to a friend because I couldn't find time to finish it. Now she's going to have to pay someone to finish it. I can't help but feel she was mad about it. But I just couldn't finish it. It wasn't fair for me to keep holding on to it when she needed it finished.
Recently, we were going to give one of our puppies, Max, to my cousin and her family. He was a perfect fit for them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with him and he's the sweetest and most beautiful dog ever. He just got so big so fast that one of my daughters has become very intimidated by him and has become afraid of his herding ways. The day we took him over to my cousin's house, Max had a seizure. This has never happened before. EVER. He's only 4 months old and it's just not supposed to happen. He's not even a breed that has seizures as a trait when he's older. I know this upset my cousin a lot. A part of me feels like she thinks we're trying to pawn off a sick dog on her and she's mad that she had to go through that. We happily took him back (I'm still very attached to him). We got him to the vet right away and they ran every test possible on him and found NOTHING. No cause. No rhyme or reason as to why this would happen. He's totally healthy, in fact. So we have no idea what happened there. Today, I learned that my aunt (this cousin's mom) is also in the market for a large puppy. HELLO. We have a large puppy we're looking to rehome (but only to someone we know). I told her she could take Max but she shot me a look I won't forget and shook her head no. It was as if she also believes there is something wrong with Max. I can only imagine what my cousin had told her. I feel quite awful about my cousin having to witness that seizure, but I swear on everything that this has never happened to him EVER (or since). I'm not the type of person who would do something so cruel to my family - to pawn off a dog who has seizures. And honestly, now that we have him back, he's probably better off here. I mean, we know what a treasure he is. We know he's not sick AT ALL. It just disappoints me that someone would think we'd do that on purpose. Or that a family member wouldn't believe us that the vet said there was nothing wrong with him.
Stuff is just sticking with me lately. It's hard to get over the feeling I've disappointed someone. I've always been that way. I take things too personally. I know this. My heart has always been on my sleeve and easily broken. I wish there were an easy way to get past this and just let it go. I don't enjoy the feeling of someone being mad at me - especially when I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I'm just not that kind of person to ever do something mean or hurtful on purpose. I don't like being the source of someone's disappointment.
I don't really have a huge point to this. It's just something I needed to get off my chest, I guess.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Who Wants To Clean My House?
It's true that life is good. I love my job. I really do. I couldn't be more thankful to have a job like this. It's what I prayed would happen once deciding to juggle more parenting with hubs and go back to working outside of the home. I mean, if you had to leave your children, wouldn't you beg to have a job you love? It doesn't seem too fair otherwise.
That being said, my revelation of the week is understanding why people hire others to clean their house. I admit, our home is quite awful right now in terms of cleanliness. On top of that, we have a horrible ant problem. I know we could lose a ton of those ants if we just cleaned up around here, but it's not that easy.
My energy level is still at a struggling level because of my vitamin D deficiency. So going to work and being with my girls when I'm not at work pretty much sucks out all of the energy I have for the day. And considering I usually only have one day off per week, I'm not wanting to spend that one day cleaning our house.
So I sit in filth instead... surrounded by ants.
If I had the money to pay someone to clean the house... I would. Although I would also feel pretty awful making anyone else clean this up.
That being said, my revelation of the week is understanding why people hire others to clean their house. I admit, our home is quite awful right now in terms of cleanliness. On top of that, we have a horrible ant problem. I know we could lose a ton of those ants if we just cleaned up around here, but it's not that easy.
My energy level is still at a struggling level because of my vitamin D deficiency. So going to work and being with my girls when I'm not at work pretty much sucks out all of the energy I have for the day. And considering I usually only have one day off per week, I'm not wanting to spend that one day cleaning our house.
So I sit in filth instead... surrounded by ants.
If I had the money to pay someone to clean the house... I would. Although I would also feel pretty awful making anyone else clean this up.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
I Can't Get No Satisfaction
I honestly can't remember a time I've ever felt really content with my life. I guess this is why I've moved around so much (once I reached adulthood). I've lived in a lot of cities in a lot of different states. I can say there hasn't been one place I would love better than the one I grew up in. There are certainly things I love about certain places, but not to the point I've been able to say "this is incredible and I belong here." The closest I've been to that was Albuquerque, NM. That being said, I never had the vision of living there with our kids. I guess I'll save that for retirement.
Even though I'm back in Oklahoma and the town I grew up in, I still feel so discontent. Why? I don't know.
I have a pretty great life here. It's better than my life in most other places I've lived. All of my family is here. We are members of a fantastic community impact church. Hubs and I even have friends to hang out with (which hasn't been the case for pretty much our entire marriage). He and I were both able to find jobs here and we're doing alright.
I just can't help but feel like there is something missing here. It's interesting to have been thinking about this a lot lately because our recent sermon series at church is about finding your purpose in life. There are times I thought I knew what that was, but something else would always come up.
I often wonder if I should just stop and enjoy my life more often than I do? Perhaps then I'll know my purpose. Perhaps I'll feel content. I'm just too goal oriented that I don't know how to just stop and enjoy what is. I think up dreams and goals. When I reach one, I think up something else that should come next. Once I obtain that goal, then I think of what should come next (and so on...). I haven't decided if that's good or bad. I mean, sometimes I think it's good because I'm always challenging myself to do more and be more and learn. I'm also starting to see how discontent it's making me. I never feel settled. I never feel that moment where I know I'm exactly where I should be.
I honestly don't know what it is I'm supposed to do with my life. I want desperately to stay home and raise my daughters but the economy is quickly ruining that dream for me. I've always had this huge fascination with the 1950s culture. I always saw myself as the married housewife who stays home to cook (gosh, I love to cook!), clean and take care of the children and help them with their school work. We don't make the income we used to and everything is a struggle right now. I need to be working and earning that second (and third) income.
But what should I do? I previously applied to do something I really wanted to do (and knew I'd be great at) and was denied the job. I did get hired on at the movie store, but I don't know if this is what God intended for my life. Maybe for now - but I don't think this is going to be my career move. Or maybe it is? I don't know. It's definitely not something I ever considered doing with my life. It's more or less something there that is really fun to do and helps bring in the income we're desperately needing right now. It is probably coincidence that I'm really good at what I'm doing.
I remember my pastor talking about how we should think back on our childhood and remember the things our peers asked from us. What were people pointing out that we were really good at? I want to burst out in tears because I don't remember anyone ever telling me I was good at anything. It was always what I was doing wrong and how I probably wouldn't amount to much as an adult. Guess what? Currently in my life, I'm really not amounting to much.
After he asked that, the only thing I could remember doing right as a kid was winning a coloring contest in 1st grade. But I don't think anyone will pay me to color the pages of a coloring book for a living.
I love music, but I can't sing and haven't played an instrument in close to 15 years. I love taking care of my children but I feel pretty intimidated at the thought of taking care of some other person's children. I went to college for broadcasting and worked in that field for several years before becoming a mother. I enjoyed what I did, but I never saw myself so in love with that job that I wanted to do that for the rest of my life. I enjoy being crafty - like sewing, painting, flipping furniture, etc.... but I don't have the start up costs to turn that into a career.
What is my purpose, Lord? What is my purpose?
What is it that I need to be doing?
I just want to feel satisfied with my life for once.
Even though I'm back in Oklahoma and the town I grew up in, I still feel so discontent. Why? I don't know.
I have a pretty great life here. It's better than my life in most other places I've lived. All of my family is here. We are members of a fantastic community impact church. Hubs and I even have friends to hang out with (which hasn't been the case for pretty much our entire marriage). He and I were both able to find jobs here and we're doing alright.
I just can't help but feel like there is something missing here. It's interesting to have been thinking about this a lot lately because our recent sermon series at church is about finding your purpose in life. There are times I thought I knew what that was, but something else would always come up.
I often wonder if I should just stop and enjoy my life more often than I do? Perhaps then I'll know my purpose. Perhaps I'll feel content. I'm just too goal oriented that I don't know how to just stop and enjoy what is. I think up dreams and goals. When I reach one, I think up something else that should come next. Once I obtain that goal, then I think of what should come next (and so on...). I haven't decided if that's good or bad. I mean, sometimes I think it's good because I'm always challenging myself to do more and be more and learn. I'm also starting to see how discontent it's making me. I never feel settled. I never feel that moment where I know I'm exactly where I should be.
I honestly don't know what it is I'm supposed to do with my life. I want desperately to stay home and raise my daughters but the economy is quickly ruining that dream for me. I've always had this huge fascination with the 1950s culture. I always saw myself as the married housewife who stays home to cook (gosh, I love to cook!), clean and take care of the children and help them with their school work. We don't make the income we used to and everything is a struggle right now. I need to be working and earning that second (and third) income.
But what should I do? I previously applied to do something I really wanted to do (and knew I'd be great at) and was denied the job. I did get hired on at the movie store, but I don't know if this is what God intended for my life. Maybe for now - but I don't think this is going to be my career move. Or maybe it is? I don't know. It's definitely not something I ever considered doing with my life. It's more or less something there that is really fun to do and helps bring in the income we're desperately needing right now. It is probably coincidence that I'm really good at what I'm doing.
I remember my pastor talking about how we should think back on our childhood and remember the things our peers asked from us. What were people pointing out that we were really good at? I want to burst out in tears because I don't remember anyone ever telling me I was good at anything. It was always what I was doing wrong and how I probably wouldn't amount to much as an adult. Guess what? Currently in my life, I'm really not amounting to much.
After he asked that, the only thing I could remember doing right as a kid was winning a coloring contest in 1st grade. But I don't think anyone will pay me to color the pages of a coloring book for a living.
I love music, but I can't sing and haven't played an instrument in close to 15 years. I love taking care of my children but I feel pretty intimidated at the thought of taking care of some other person's children. I went to college for broadcasting and worked in that field for several years before becoming a mother. I enjoyed what I did, but I never saw myself so in love with that job that I wanted to do that for the rest of my life. I enjoy being crafty - like sewing, painting, flipping furniture, etc.... but I don't have the start up costs to turn that into a career.
What is my purpose, Lord? What is my purpose?
What is it that I need to be doing?
I just want to feel satisfied with my life for once.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
The Afterlife.
I was awake until 2:30am last night this morning answering some very serious questions from my 4 year old. I can't stop wondering how much she really needed to know at her age, but I also hope I didn't withhold too much information from her that she really wanted to know. I don't like answering her with "you're not old enough to know." If she has questions about something (even some this serious), I want to be able to answer her questions. Her questions last night were particularly tough.
It was a quiet movie night complete with mattresses on the living room floor and me on the couch. My 3 year old had already fallen asleep and my 4 year old really wanted to watch Felicity (American Girl movie). All was well until Felicity's grandfather died. Suddenly, my 4 year old didn't understand. "What happened?" she asked. "Her grandfather died." I answered. "Why? What happened?" she continued.
I tried explaining that Felicity lived a very long time ago, before there was Tylenol and other good medicine to make us better. I explained that back then, sometimes when you would get sick, you would die because there wasn't good medicine like we have now.
She continued, "Well, why was he in the box and being buried?"
"Because when we die, our bodies are buried, but our souls go to Heaven." I answered.
It was then I realized I had just opened the can of worms. I said the word soul to my 4 year old.
By my Christian beliefs, I had to continue explaining what happens to you when you die. That brought up more questions about what happens if you do not know Jesus. I told her that you will live in Hell with the Devil - who's name is Satan.
She asked what Satan's last name was. I said he didn't have one. So then she said we need to think of a last name for Jesus and for Satan. lol
It was question after question after question.
We've spent her entire childhood teaching her about who Jesus and God are. I never really thought of talking about why we believe and the difference between Heaven and Hell. Perhaps that was me trying to protect her innocent mind from picturing the two extremes. I was never sure what the appropriate age was to teach them about death and how beliefs in God come into play in the afterlife. Thankfully, she was really cool about it all and made me laugh a lot through all my nervousness - thinking about giving Jesus and Satan last names, wondering if Satan beats you up in Hell ("because that's pretty mean and bad"), and listening to her innocent curiosity about death.
Clearly, conversations about the afterlife was not something I wanted to happen till she were older. I'm not even sure I wanted to have them at all. This is real life though. As a parent, I'm realizing I don't get to pick and choose when to and when not to have certain conversations. There's not enough education or life experience to teach me how to have those conversations either. My best advice if this should ever happen to any of you is to follow their lead. If they want to know a little more than what you've explained, believe me, they'll ask.
It was a quiet movie night complete with mattresses on the living room floor and me on the couch. My 3 year old had already fallen asleep and my 4 year old really wanted to watch Felicity (American Girl movie). All was well until Felicity's grandfather died. Suddenly, my 4 year old didn't understand. "What happened?" she asked. "Her grandfather died." I answered. "Why? What happened?" she continued.
I tried explaining that Felicity lived a very long time ago, before there was Tylenol and other good medicine to make us better. I explained that back then, sometimes when you would get sick, you would die because there wasn't good medicine like we have now.
She continued, "Well, why was he in the box and being buried?"
"Because when we die, our bodies are buried, but our souls go to Heaven." I answered.
It was then I realized I had just opened the can of worms. I said the word soul to my 4 year old.
By my Christian beliefs, I had to continue explaining what happens to you when you die. That brought up more questions about what happens if you do not know Jesus. I told her that you will live in Hell with the Devil - who's name is Satan.
She asked what Satan's last name was. I said he didn't have one. So then she said we need to think of a last name for Jesus and for Satan. lol
It was question after question after question.
We've spent her entire childhood teaching her about who Jesus and God are. I never really thought of talking about why we believe and the difference between Heaven and Hell. Perhaps that was me trying to protect her innocent mind from picturing the two extremes. I was never sure what the appropriate age was to teach them about death and how beliefs in God come into play in the afterlife. Thankfully, she was really cool about it all and made me laugh a lot through all my nervousness - thinking about giving Jesus and Satan last names, wondering if Satan beats you up in Hell ("because that's pretty mean and bad"), and listening to her innocent curiosity about death.
Clearly, conversations about the afterlife was not something I wanted to happen till she were older. I'm not even sure I wanted to have them at all. This is real life though. As a parent, I'm realizing I don't get to pick and choose when to and when not to have certain conversations. There's not enough education or life experience to teach me how to have those conversations either. My best advice if this should ever happen to any of you is to follow their lead. If they want to know a little more than what you've explained, believe me, they'll ask.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Wishful Living
I have been working a ton this week at my second job. A ton. My feet are so sore and I'm really missing my family. This week's Wishful Living was an easy choice.
I would love to cozy up with my sweet family in a beautiful cabin with a great view. Why the snow? Well, the last time it snowed around here, our little suburb shut down completely. That guarantees that I'll be off work for at least a day.
Ready for the theme music? Check this one out....
I would love to cozy up with my sweet family in a beautiful cabin with a great view. Why the snow? Well, the last time it snowed around here, our little suburb shut down completely. That guarantees that I'll be off work for at least a day.
Ready for the theme music? Check this one out....
Thursday, March 17, 2011
A Truth
Truth: I have a second job.
After all the explaining I did about having the one job and needing to stay home with the girls, I recently realized that it just wasn't enough. So I decided to get a second job - this time working outside of the home. I have such mixed feelings about it - which brings me back to blogger to talk it out.
First I must say that I really really really love this new job. It's fantastic. My pay is decent enough for part time work. But it's that part time work that's bothering me.
I thought going part time meant 3-4 days a week maximum. Apparently at this place, it means you could actually be working 7 days in a row and only have one day off before you start another long streak of days. This is really bothering me. It's cutting into time I need for other things happening in my life - like the work at home job I have. Like motherhood. Like having a life outside of working. Like dinner.
Yes. Dinner. I don't get to eat dinner anymore because of this job. If I do, I have to bring it with me and eat while standing up behind the check out counter. That's IF we're not busy. Most of the time I'm there because we are busy - so that means no dinner. All this food I've bought from the grocery store to make my family for dinner - it's still in the fridge/freezer waiting to be prepared. I'm not home to enjoy dinner with my family anymore and I'm not even able to eat dinner at work either - most of the time.
I'm working about 32 hours in this "part time" job. It's 32 hours I was meant to be taking care of my girls and enjoying time as a family.
I never see my husband anymore. He gets home from work at 7am. He sleeps when he gets home while I wake up to take care of the girls. When it's time for me to go to work, he wakes up to take care of the girls. When I finally get home from work, he's needing to go to work. It sucks. And with only one day off a week (apparently), I will have to pray it'll always be on one of his days off so we can finally spend time together. But still - one day a week isn't enough "family time." It isn't enough visitation with my husband.
I honestly really really love working at this place. I don't want to quit and we really need that extra income right now. I guess I just need better hours. I realized today that aside from the new manager, I am the only other one who has children. No one knows what it's like to miss out on your family. And even the manager with children doesn't have a spouse who works overnights/opposite shifts.
This might just be killing me a little bit. Hopefully things will improve very soon.
After all the explaining I did about having the one job and needing to stay home with the girls, I recently realized that it just wasn't enough. So I decided to get a second job - this time working outside of the home. I have such mixed feelings about it - which brings me back to blogger to talk it out.
First I must say that I really really really love this new job. It's fantastic. My pay is decent enough for part time work. But it's that part time work that's bothering me.
I thought going part time meant 3-4 days a week maximum. Apparently at this place, it means you could actually be working 7 days in a row and only have one day off before you start another long streak of days. This is really bothering me. It's cutting into time I need for other things happening in my life - like the work at home job I have. Like motherhood. Like having a life outside of working. Like dinner.
Yes. Dinner. I don't get to eat dinner anymore because of this job. If I do, I have to bring it with me and eat while standing up behind the check out counter. That's IF we're not busy. Most of the time I'm there because we are busy - so that means no dinner. All this food I've bought from the grocery store to make my family for dinner - it's still in the fridge/freezer waiting to be prepared. I'm not home to enjoy dinner with my family anymore and I'm not even able to eat dinner at work either - most of the time.
I'm working about 32 hours in this "part time" job. It's 32 hours I was meant to be taking care of my girls and enjoying time as a family.
I never see my husband anymore. He gets home from work at 7am. He sleeps when he gets home while I wake up to take care of the girls. When it's time for me to go to work, he wakes up to take care of the girls. When I finally get home from work, he's needing to go to work. It sucks. And with only one day off a week (apparently), I will have to pray it'll always be on one of his days off so we can finally spend time together. But still - one day a week isn't enough "family time." It isn't enough visitation with my husband.
I honestly really really love working at this place. I don't want to quit and we really need that extra income right now. I guess I just need better hours. I realized today that aside from the new manager, I am the only other one who has children. No one knows what it's like to miss out on your family. And even the manager with children doesn't have a spouse who works overnights/opposite shifts.
This might just be killing me a little bit. Hopefully things will improve very soon.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Imperfections
Imperfections. Oh goodness. If only we accepted them in ourselves as much as God accepts them in us....
One thing I love about imperfections is that it really shows you what kind of friendships you have. For example, have you ever visited with a friend and not bothered with makeup? Have you ever been around a friend wearing the same clothes two days in a row? Have you ever been around a friend and not cared that your house was clean? Have you ever been around a friend and no longer cared about what they thought of you because you already knew they loved you for you?
It's been such a very long long long time since I've had friends like that. I'm blessed to have a couple of friends in my life like that right now. I adore these friends more than any of these words could describe. I'm having a play date with one of them tomorrow and I just now (at 9pm) realized how awfully messy my house is.
There is absolutely no walk room in my girls' room. It's a disaster to say the least. There are dirty clothes all over the hallway waiting to be washed. But I can't wash them because the laundry room is messy with dog stuff that needs to be cleaned first. We're constantly washing dishes in the kitchen but there's always another pile in the sink to be washed. The living room and dining room are also disasters (not as bad as the girls' room) because of rearranging things around the house over the weekend. We need to move stuff out to storage and it will make it looks tons better, but there's still a bit of clutter that needs to be dealt with. I'm pretty sure I can't get around to cleaning all of it before she arrives with her girls tomorrow.
But you know what? I was so stinkin' excited that I'm having this friend come over with her little girls to play and have lunch with us that I never bothered looking around the house at all the mess. I know she loves us just the way we are. To see us living in such clutter and mess won't change her opinion of us. It won't make her love us any less. I can even guarantee you that she would still come over again if I asked her to.
I'm so lucky to have more than one friend that loves me this much. I'm so lucky to have more than one friend who loves me for me and isn't influenced by whatever junk is around me.
You know there is a lesson in this. But I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own while you watch this video.
One thing I love about imperfections is that it really shows you what kind of friendships you have. For example, have you ever visited with a friend and not bothered with makeup? Have you ever been around a friend wearing the same clothes two days in a row? Have you ever been around a friend and not cared that your house was clean? Have you ever been around a friend and no longer cared about what they thought of you because you already knew they loved you for you?
It's been such a very long long long time since I've had friends like that. I'm blessed to have a couple of friends in my life like that right now. I adore these friends more than any of these words could describe. I'm having a play date with one of them tomorrow and I just now (at 9pm) realized how awfully messy my house is.
There is absolutely no walk room in my girls' room. It's a disaster to say the least. There are dirty clothes all over the hallway waiting to be washed. But I can't wash them because the laundry room is messy with dog stuff that needs to be cleaned first. We're constantly washing dishes in the kitchen but there's always another pile in the sink to be washed. The living room and dining room are also disasters (not as bad as the girls' room) because of rearranging things around the house over the weekend. We need to move stuff out to storage and it will make it looks tons better, but there's still a bit of clutter that needs to be dealt with. I'm pretty sure I can't get around to cleaning all of it before she arrives with her girls tomorrow.
But you know what? I was so stinkin' excited that I'm having this friend come over with her little girls to play and have lunch with us that I never bothered looking around the house at all the mess. I know she loves us just the way we are. To see us living in such clutter and mess won't change her opinion of us. It won't make her love us any less. I can even guarantee you that she would still come over again if I asked her to.
I'm so lucky to have more than one friend that loves me this much. I'm so lucky to have more than one friend who loves me for me and isn't influenced by whatever junk is around me.
You know there is a lesson in this. But I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own while you watch this video.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Decisions
The year of hard decisions. That's what 2011 is turning out to be for us. While that may sound like a lot of bad things are going on (and I guess they sometimes are)... we're really not looking at it like that.
The best part about making hard decisions is that there's an outcome on the other side of that decision that we're all okay with. I won't go into detail on all of the hard decisions we've made this year, but there have been quite a few big ones as well as some we're still trying to figure out.
There was one very recently that I'm still having a hard time dealing with. I know praying about this and discussing it with my husband that I made the right decision for us right now. But sometimes these decisions aren't always what I really want.
That's just life. In the words of The Rolling Stones, "You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need."
I thank the good Lord above for always watching out for us and always answering prayers. It may not always be the answered prayer I was looking for, but all our prayers get answered. I'm so glad that He knows better than I do.
ROCK for the ROCK: Week Three from Darin Hamm on Vimeo.
The best part about making hard decisions is that there's an outcome on the other side of that decision that we're all okay with. I won't go into detail on all of the hard decisions we've made this year, but there have been quite a few big ones as well as some we're still trying to figure out.
There was one very recently that I'm still having a hard time dealing with. I know praying about this and discussing it with my husband that I made the right decision for us right now. But sometimes these decisions aren't always what I really want.
That's just life. In the words of The Rolling Stones, "You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need."
I thank the good Lord above for always watching out for us and always answering prayers. It may not always be the answered prayer I was looking for, but all our prayers get answered. I'm so glad that He knows better than I do.
I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 The Message
(This video is from my church 4 months ago during a series called "Rock for the Rock".
The picture is blurry, but a great message I think you may like.)
The picture is blurry, but a great message I think you may like.)
ROCK for the ROCK: Week Three from Darin Hamm on Vimeo.
Friday, March 4, 2011
An Inspiring Week
I missed my favorite parts of last week - Wishful Living and An Inspiring Week. And where I left off with "An Inspiring Week" wasn't all that fabulous. Hopefully this week you will agree that my inspiration is much much better. I've really been too busy this past week to do much of any crafting or sewing of my own, but I'm always on the lookout for adorable things that inspire me or simply put me in a good mood.
First on my list is this awe-some bed from the linen house. I want a bed like this so bad. One that just looks comfortable and inviting and says "come snuggle up on me and rest." It's one of those you know you could lay on in any position, snuggle the covers up under your chin, and be so perfectly comfortable. I am quite happy that we have upgraded from a wire-poking-you-in-the-back uncomfortable sofa bed to a king size bed. That's quite the blessing, really. But this bed here - oh this bed! I want you.
This is hillarious and adorable at the same time. I really think our Max needs one of these sweet bow tie collars. Most of the time I don't think our dog could get any more adorable, but then I found these and I changed my mind. He needs one whether he agrees with me or not.
I'm pretty sure I made something like this when I was a kid. It inspired me to start thinking like a kid again and look at everything from a creative point of view. I found it while surfing around on this blog.
While surfing around on this blog, I saw this lamp. It's delicious. I want it. I'm sure I could figure out how to recreate it, but for now I'll admire this one.
I thought these were super creative and it's the first crafty thing I've seen that I cannot figure out how to recreate. Therefore, I want one. If I can't recreate it, it's worth purchasing. :) Go to the site and see more of these cute things.
And last but not least.... something I shared on Twitter and Facebook earlier in the week. There is nothing cuter than this video. NOTHING. I still cry from laughing every single time I watch this (and I've watched it a lot!). Even if you take your eyes off the video and just listen to the baby laugh, it's still just as cute.
What inspired you this week?
First on my list is this awe-some bed from the linen house. I want a bed like this so bad. One that just looks comfortable and inviting and says "come snuggle up on me and rest." It's one of those you know you could lay on in any position, snuggle the covers up under your chin, and be so perfectly comfortable. I am quite happy that we have upgraded from a wire-poking-you-in-the-back uncomfortable sofa bed to a king size bed. That's quite the blessing, really. But this bed here - oh this bed! I want you.
This is hillarious and adorable at the same time. I really think our Max needs one of these sweet bow tie collars. Most of the time I don't think our dog could get any more adorable, but then I found these and I changed my mind. He needs one whether he agrees with me or not.
I'm pretty sure I made something like this when I was a kid. It inspired me to start thinking like a kid again and look at everything from a creative point of view. I found it while surfing around on this blog.
While surfing around on this blog, I saw this lamp. It's delicious. I want it. I'm sure I could figure out how to recreate it, but for now I'll admire this one.
I thought these were super creative and it's the first crafty thing I've seen that I cannot figure out how to recreate. Therefore, I want one. If I can't recreate it, it's worth purchasing. :) Go to the site and see more of these cute things.
And last but not least.... something I shared on Twitter and Facebook earlier in the week. There is nothing cuter than this video. NOTHING. I still cry from laughing every single time I watch this (and I've watched it a lot!). Even if you take your eyes off the video and just listen to the baby laugh, it's still just as cute.
What inspired you this week?
Wishful Living
It's no secret that I am a bit obsessed with the 1950s. So of course, it comes as no surprise that when we are finally able to buy our own home, one made in the 50s would be ideal. Most 1950s homes have been remodeled and updated inside. But that's okay. I can always switch it back. ;)
I found this charming yellow home for sale in Florida. I have no desire to move to Florida, so this is great material for "Wishful Living." For an easy $60,000 we could own this dream. But I'd have to uproot it and move the house here to Oklahoma - because seriously, Florida isn't for me. We'll just pretend this home is here in Oklahoma or even Albuquerque, NM. *grin*
I found this charming yellow home for sale in Florida. I have no desire to move to Florida, so this is great material for "Wishful Living." For an easy $60,000 we could own this dream. But I'd have to uproot it and move the house here to Oklahoma - because seriously, Florida isn't for me. We'll just pretend this home is here in Oklahoma or even Albuquerque, NM. *grin*
Built in 1951. 1157 Square Feet. 3 Bedrooms. 1 Bathroom.
And of course, there has to be "theme music." So this is what my life in that home would sound like...
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Forgiveness
I started reading though an old blog of mine (just a personal one I didn't share with the World). I found something there I wanted to share in this blog.
It was written toward the end of last year when hubs and I were in marriage counseling. To those who know us now, it's hard to believe our marriage almost ended last year. I am so thankful for our marriage counselor, J, who helped us get through some really rough stuff. We're also so thankful we discovered New Heights church at just the right time - when we had to end our counseling sessions (it was far away and we couldn't afford the gas to get there anymore). God worked through our pastor, Darin. We applied what he taught and it has saved our marriage. In fact, we're at a place now where you couldn't even imagine hubs and I even thinking about splitting up.
Back to the old blog post... In counseling, I learned something about forgiveness. It was one of those moments an answer I gave wasn't really my own thoughts. These words just poured out of my mouth and I learned something pretty spectacular from it. Here's the post:
It was written toward the end of last year when hubs and I were in marriage counseling. To those who know us now, it's hard to believe our marriage almost ended last year. I am so thankful for our marriage counselor, J, who helped us get through some really rough stuff. We're also so thankful we discovered New Heights church at just the right time - when we had to end our counseling sessions (it was far away and we couldn't afford the gas to get there anymore). God worked through our pastor, Darin. We applied what he taught and it has saved our marriage. In fact, we're at a place now where you couldn't even imagine hubs and I even thinking about splitting up.
Back to the old blog post... In counseling, I learned something about forgiveness. It was one of those moments an answer I gave wasn't really my own thoughts. These words just poured out of my mouth and I learned something pretty spectacular from it. Here's the post:
I've learned a lot about forgiveness. I'm not sure I've ever talked about forgiveness with anyone until last night. J asked me for my definition of forgiveness. I told him I couldn't really give an official definition, it's more of a process. I explained to him that I know what Jesus did for us a long time ago. He died on the cross for our sins. It wasn't just for MY sin... it was for everyone's sin. That includes my husband. That includes my family. That includes my friends. That even includes strangers. People make mistakes in their life. I certainly have made a lot of mistakes in my life. I've learned from them - the biggest lesson being forgiveness. Who am I to say that Jesus died for my sins and that I am forgiven but think that others don't deserve the same forgiveness? Whatever bad things have happened, I forgive him because God did. He deserves that forgiveness as much as I do. I will not judge someone by their mistakes. I have done a lot of bad things in my life but I have grown up from those mistakes. I am not the same person I used to be. I trust God that my husband will not be the same person he used to be.
I believe God deals with each of us in a unique way. God is certainly dealing with my husband right now (and me too) and I am holding on to all of God's promises for us. I am exercising patience. I am exercising forgiveness. While there are still days I want to give up, I keep holding on.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
The Secret
Fact. Life is hard sometimes. Sometimes bad things happen - yes, even to good people. Sometimes we make mistakes. Sometimes things beyond our control can ruin a perfectly good day.
But every day is full of new possibilities - possibilities to dwell on the bad or think about the good.
Last night, hubs and I watched The Secret. It's crazy how much of it relates to Christian principles. So is "The Secret" to life Christianity? It could be for everyone. For me, it is. For me, there is no other way to live. The movie described our lives as being controlled by "the Universe" but Christians call this kind of "Universe", God. God is the One in control of my life. He is the powers that be.
The movie talked a lot about how we are to stay focused on positive things to have a positive life so "The Secret" can manifest itself in our lives. The rest is up to "the Universe" - or in my case, God. The thing that made most sense to me in this movie was how bad things happen because we're always thinking bad thoughts. If we start focusing on good thoughts for our life, then good things will happen. I really think there's some truth to that.
Think about what happens when you surround yourself with awful people. Your life starts tokind of suck and you always feel bad. But when you surround yourself with positive people, good things start happening and you're more joyful. Right? It's the same for our thoughts. Go through your day thinking about the positive things you want to happen in your life. Cut out the thoughts of why or how it won't work. Just focus on the fact that it will. The Universe God will take care of the how/when/etc. You just have to believe it'll happen.
Today, I tried to put this into practice with my own life. When I started to get upset at my children, I tried redirecting my thoughts to all the things I appreciate about them. When I started to get upset about my finances, I started to think about all of the times God provided for us no matter how much money therewas wasn't in the bank. I think it all starts by appreciating your life and those in it. Stop thinking about what you don't have and appreciate the things you do. Focus on what you want in your life and don't question it ever happening.
But every day is full of new possibilities - possibilities to dwell on the bad or think about the good.
Last night, hubs and I watched The Secret. It's crazy how much of it relates to Christian principles. So is "The Secret" to life Christianity? It could be for everyone. For me, it is. For me, there is no other way to live. The movie described our lives as being controlled by "the Universe" but Christians call this kind of "Universe", God. God is the One in control of my life. He is the powers that be.
The movie talked a lot about how we are to stay focused on positive things to have a positive life so "The Secret" can manifest itself in our lives. The rest is up to "the Universe" - or in my case, God. The thing that made most sense to me in this movie was how bad things happen because we're always thinking bad thoughts. If we start focusing on good thoughts for our life, then good things will happen. I really think there's some truth to that.
Think about what happens when you surround yourself with awful people. Your life starts to
Today, I tried to put this into practice with my own life. When I started to get upset at my children, I tried redirecting my thoughts to all the things I appreciate about them. When I started to get upset about my finances, I started to think about all of the times God provided for us no matter how much money there
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:19 (NIV)
Philippians 4:19 (NIV)
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
A New Old Car
I mentioned before how awful last week was here on Birch St., but I must say it's a huge blessing to know and trust that everything is going to work out. We put God in control of our lives (which is a hard thing to do, really) and it's been proven time and time again how faithful He is to us in our times of trouble (even in blessing).
We've been having a headache with the finance company for our van. When we bought the van, we made much more money than we do now. "Life happened" and we can no longer afford the car payments. We've fallen behind and struggled often to catch up. We've been pleading with this company for a few months now to help us out and allow us to keep this van that we've invested so much into already by lowering our payment - but they won't. No matter how much we pay them, they always tell us that we can't afford this and threaten to pick up the van. It's true - we can't afford it on our current income. But they won't adjust what we pay every month. And this is coming from the company who recently decided to give all of their hourly employees a $5,000 bonus.
It was getting pretty awful last week dealing with them. I don't think I could talk to someone else they way they talk to us and be okay with myself at the end of the day. Ya know? Last week, they actually showed up at my inlaw's house looking for the van to repo. Thankfully we no longer live with them, but it was only a matter of time before they found out where we do live. We are really trying to do the right thing with them, but they aren't so helpful on their end. So we had to think fast and pray God gave us answers quickly.
We finally decided to make the sacrifice and give up the van no matter what. If they want to pick it up, that's fine. If we need to drive it to a dealership and surrender it, that's fine. We tried trading it in, but our credit score is too low now (thanks to this finance company) that they won't let us trade for something cheaper.
Then, we found this great used car dealership in Tulsa and told them our story. They specialize in helping people like us who have/had problems and/or bad credit get into a vehicle and rebuild credit - but don't rip you off with a humongous car payment. Since we are surrendering our van, they decided they would finance us for something new (used). We had a few issues getting into the new vehicle, but God worked it out. We feel like we're doing the right thing because we kept seeing what we call "little God blessings" through this process.
First, we got approved. Second, we found a great vehicle at an incredible price. We managed to have payments we could afford for at least $100 less than our minivan. We put down part of our tax return which helped a lot. We later found out that the vehicle we chose has a brand new engine and 4 new tires plus a full size spare. It also comes with 18 months or 18,000 mile warranty on the engine, transmission, and other main parts - but not bumper to bumper. The left tail light was broken but the bulb still worked. They had ordered a part for that and will install that when it comes in.
Then the "little God blessings" came through.
Just before we went in to sign the paperwork, we realized the radiator was leaking. So we had to put our down payment as hold money in their layaway program so they wouldn't sell the car to anyone else. We didn't drive home with our new vehicle, but they were putting in a new radiator for us on their dime. Where is the blessing in that - you ask?
Come Monday, our dealer called us with some good news. He said because we didn't finalize the deal, we could take advantage of their new promotion. There was a $100 coupon online that we could print and bring in for $100 off our vehicle. Then, they just started a new promotion that matches our down payment up to $1,000. So instead of putting down $1,500... it was like putting down $2,600. That lowered our payments even more in addition to getting an already amazing deal on the vehicle.
We are now paying over $150 less on our car payments than we were on the van. We have a new engine, tires, and radiator with a tail light on order. We will have just over a year before our vehicle is PAID OFF! And the best part is no matter what happens with the van - they can't touch this one!
Oh, but the blessings didn't stop there. We're significantly saving on our car insurance now too!
We've been having a headache with the finance company for our van. When we bought the van, we made much more money than we do now. "Life happened" and we can no longer afford the car payments. We've fallen behind and struggled often to catch up. We've been pleading with this company for a few months now to help us out and allow us to keep this van that we've invested so much into already by lowering our payment - but they won't. No matter how much we pay them, they always tell us that we can't afford this and threaten to pick up the van. It's true - we can't afford it on our current income. But they won't adjust what we pay every month. And this is coming from the company who recently decided to give all of their hourly employees a $5,000 bonus.
It was getting pretty awful last week dealing with them. I don't think I could talk to someone else they way they talk to us and be okay with myself at the end of the day. Ya know? Last week, they actually showed up at my inlaw's house looking for the van to repo. Thankfully we no longer live with them, but it was only a matter of time before they found out where we do live. We are really trying to do the right thing with them, but they aren't so helpful on their end. So we had to think fast and pray God gave us answers quickly.
We finally decided to make the sacrifice and give up the van no matter what. If they want to pick it up, that's fine. If we need to drive it to a dealership and surrender it, that's fine. We tried trading it in, but our credit score is too low now (thanks to this finance company) that they won't let us trade for something cheaper.
Then, we found this great used car dealership in Tulsa and told them our story. They specialize in helping people like us who have/had problems and/or bad credit get into a vehicle and rebuild credit - but don't rip you off with a humongous car payment. Since we are surrendering our van, they decided they would finance us for something new (used). We had a few issues getting into the new vehicle, but God worked it out. We feel like we're doing the right thing because we kept seeing what we call "little God blessings" through this process.
First, we got approved. Second, we found a great vehicle at an incredible price. We managed to have payments we could afford for at least $100 less than our minivan. We put down part of our tax return which helped a lot. We later found out that the vehicle we chose has a brand new engine and 4 new tires plus a full size spare. It also comes with 18 months or 18,000 mile warranty on the engine, transmission, and other main parts - but not bumper to bumper. The left tail light was broken but the bulb still worked. They had ordered a part for that and will install that when it comes in.
Then the "little God blessings" came through.
Just before we went in to sign the paperwork, we realized the radiator was leaking. So we had to put our down payment as hold money in their layaway program so they wouldn't sell the car to anyone else. We didn't drive home with our new vehicle, but they were putting in a new radiator for us on their dime. Where is the blessing in that - you ask?
Come Monday, our dealer called us with some good news. He said because we didn't finalize the deal, we could take advantage of their new promotion. There was a $100 coupon online that we could print and bring in for $100 off our vehicle. Then, they just started a new promotion that matches our down payment up to $1,000. So instead of putting down $1,500... it was like putting down $2,600. That lowered our payments even more in addition to getting an already amazing deal on the vehicle.
We are now paying over $150 less on our car payments than we were on the van. We have a new engine, tires, and radiator with a tail light on order. We will have just over a year before our vehicle is PAID OFF! And the best part is no matter what happens with the van - they can't touch this one!
Oh, but the blessings didn't stop there. We're significantly saving on our car insurance now too!
"The Lord will keep you from all harm - he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."
Psalm 121:7-8 NIV
Saturday, February 19, 2011
An Inspiring Week
It's 9:45pm and I should be cleaning the house like crazy because my in laws are in town and want to come over tomorrow to see our new place. It's such a wreck in here. This is a lot more fun though, so here I am. :)
I don't know if it's the weather or the stress in my life but I'm finding it harder and harder to find inspiration in things. Maybe all of you should suggest some new blogs or websites that you think I might enjoy. In the meantime, here's what I've discovered that was worthy to share with you.
These cityscape stamps are lovely. I do not "stamp" for a hobby, but I am starting to really enjoy it and could see myself getting deeper and deeper into creating more things using stamps. I received a set of alphabet stamps for my birthday and I am loving them. It's so much fun to create little homemade cards or stamp names on things - like my daughter's valentines to her classmates. I could have so much more fun adding these to some cards or artwork.
While it's not really not something I can be creative with, this dress does make me want to cut loose from everything going on in my life and get all dolled up and have a night out on the town for no reason at all. I'm certainly not as spontaneous as I used to be, and at this price, I don't think I'll be planning that night out on the town any time soon. Still, it's gorgeous and I am coming up with so many ideas in my head of places I'd love to wear it. So I guess it really does inspire some creativity.
I'm still on the search for a way to make my bathroom completely perfect to my vintage tastes. I'm always on the lookout for the perfect (affordable) mirror and I may have found it thanks to this fabulous tutorial on creating your own "antique" mirror. What do you think?
And while I'm at it, I think this tutorial would be fabulous for creating some cheap but beautiful wall art. Wall art can be SO expensive, but finding the right frame at the thrift store, maybe a couple of coats of paint, and the right vintage or cheap fabric can bring you something beautiful for so much less than store bought wall art.
And umm... that's about it for this week. It's been a long week here on Birch Street but I have definitely been inspired to get out this week and see what catches my eye.
What inspired you this week?
I don't know if it's the weather or the stress in my life but I'm finding it harder and harder to find inspiration in things. Maybe all of you should suggest some new blogs or websites that you think I might enjoy. In the meantime, here's what I've discovered that was worthy to share with you.
These cityscape stamps are lovely. I do not "stamp" for a hobby, but I am starting to really enjoy it and could see myself getting deeper and deeper into creating more things using stamps. I received a set of alphabet stamps for my birthday and I am loving them. It's so much fun to create little homemade cards or stamp names on things - like my daughter's valentines to her classmates. I could have so much more fun adding these to some cards or artwork.
While it's not really not something I can be creative with, this dress does make me want to cut loose from everything going on in my life and get all dolled up and have a night out on the town for no reason at all. I'm certainly not as spontaneous as I used to be, and at this price, I don't think I'll be planning that night out on the town any time soon. Still, it's gorgeous and I am coming up with so many ideas in my head of places I'd love to wear it. So I guess it really does inspire some creativity.
I'm still on the search for a way to make my bathroom completely perfect to my vintage tastes. I'm always on the lookout for the perfect (affordable) mirror and I may have found it thanks to this fabulous tutorial on creating your own "antique" mirror. What do you think?
before
after
And while I'm at it, I think this tutorial would be fabulous for creating some cheap but beautiful wall art. Wall art can be SO expensive, but finding the right frame at the thrift store, maybe a couple of coats of paint, and the right vintage or cheap fabric can bring you something beautiful for so much less than store bought wall art.
And umm... that's about it for this week. It's been a long week here on Birch Street but I have definitely been inspired to get out this week and see what catches my eye.
What inspired you this week?
Friday, February 18, 2011
Wishful Living
Ahhh... Wishful Living - my favorite time of the week to post. I love finding great living spaces that inspire. In our home, the room that needs the most inspiration is our bathroom. I just haven't figured out what to do with it. I mean, how exactly can you make such a dirty room look like something fabulous?
Of course, my bathroom isn't designed like this at all, but I love how cute this is! I love the bright colors and funky textures of the bathroom furniture. That mirror would probably be the only thing that would work in my current bathroom, but I love this whole room. One of thesedays years decades, I may have a bathroom designed like this, but for now... there's always wishful living!
Of course, my bathroom isn't designed like this at all, but I love how cute this is! I love the bright colors and funky textures of the bathroom furniture. That mirror would probably be the only thing that would work in my current bathroom, but I love this whole room. One of these
Here's a pretty song to go with such a pretty room.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
A Bad Week
You may have noticed that I haven't blogged since last Friday. This has to be one of the worst weeks on Birch St. It's inevitable that when things start going so well, that the Devil will come along and try to mess it all up. Past mistakes in our life are coming back to haunt us and is leaving us completely stressed out this week trying to deal with it. On top of that, it's getting in the way of something incredibly important we're trying to do which is stressful enough on it's own. There's also all the little annoyances like locking ourselves out of the house on a cold day, neighbors driving through and tearing up our front lawn, and our first mouse situation in years. All in one week!
Side note: I am TERRIFIED of mice. It's my #2 all time fear. My first fear is too personal and weird to talk about. My #3 is drowning/head underwater. But back to the mouse... I'm terrified! I go into a full on panic attack when I see them. It's pretty serious and uncontrollable. People have tried telling me that they are more scared of me than I am of them, but that's just not true. I've had them run over my feet/legs before while cleaning out a closet. I've had them actually on my bed pillow while I was sleeping, eating my hair! So don't tell me they're more scared of me or they wouldn't come so close. Trust me. My fear instinct is to get as far away from it as possible. Them? Not so much.
I think the thing I dislike most about weeks like this is that it's hard to control my feelings around others. I can't even count how many times hubs and I have snapped at each other this week even though we both know it's better to stick together to work this out than fight for no reason. It's hard to not yell at the girls when they're so happy and I'm so upset. So you know how annoying the sounds of a squealing girl is when you're on the verge of tears? Sometimes I am so upset and involved in my problem that I can't even be "mom". I can't even be a very good friend. I feel like I get sucked into my problems and I don't even know what's happening with my friends. I don't always let my friends in on our problems. That's also tough to do. There's nothing they can do really and I try to only ask things of my friends when I know there is something they could do. I'm also very forgetful and I'm not there for people like I should be or when I should be. I'm completely living in the land of sulk and fear.
I suppose the hardest part about weeks like this is prayer. What? Yes. Prayer. I want things to work out but I don't always know what God's answer will be. His vision may not be ours. And I don't want to pray for something and have it not work out that way to the point that I don't understand why and then explain to everyone why God didn't work out what we've been praying for. It's hard to be a Christian and even harder when God doesn't have the same plan you do after you've prayed for something specific. I suddenly don't have "the answers" for anyone.
On the bright side, I do completely trust God to take care of us. He always has and I believe He always will. It may not be our way, but everything will work out one way or another.
Side note: I am TERRIFIED of mice. It's my #2 all time fear. My first fear is too personal and weird to talk about. My #3 is drowning/head underwater. But back to the mouse... I'm terrified! I go into a full on panic attack when I see them. It's pretty serious and uncontrollable. People have tried telling me that they are more scared of me than I am of them, but that's just not true. I've had them run over my feet/legs before while cleaning out a closet. I've had them actually on my bed pillow while I was sleeping, eating my hair! So don't tell me they're more scared of me or they wouldn't come so close. Trust me. My fear instinct is to get as far away from it as possible. Them? Not so much.
I think the thing I dislike most about weeks like this is that it's hard to control my feelings around others. I can't even count how many times hubs and I have snapped at each other this week even though we both know it's better to stick together to work this out than fight for no reason. It's hard to not yell at the girls when they're so happy and I'm so upset. So you know how annoying the sounds of a squealing girl is when you're on the verge of tears? Sometimes I am so upset and involved in my problem that I can't even be "mom". I can't even be a very good friend. I feel like I get sucked into my problems and I don't even know what's happening with my friends. I don't always let my friends in on our problems. That's also tough to do. There's nothing they can do really and I try to only ask things of my friends when I know there is something they could do. I'm also very forgetful and I'm not there for people like I should be or when I should be. I'm completely living in the land of sulk and fear.
I suppose the hardest part about weeks like this is prayer. What? Yes. Prayer. I want things to work out but I don't always know what God's answer will be. His vision may not be ours. And I don't want to pray for something and have it not work out that way to the point that I don't understand why and then explain to everyone why God didn't work out what we've been praying for. It's hard to be a Christian and even harder when God doesn't have the same plan you do after you've prayed for something specific. I suddenly don't have "the answers" for anyone.
On the bright side, I do completely trust God to take care of us. He always has and I believe He always will. It may not be our way, but everything will work out one way or another.
Know this: God, your God, is God indeed, a God you can depend upon. He keeps his covenant of loyal love with those who love him and observe his commandments for a thousand generations.
Deuteronomy 7:9 (The Message Bible)
Friday, February 11, 2011
Wishful Living
I fell off the web earlier this week when our heater decided to stop working despite the -15 degree weather outside (and no, that's not wind chill). It was awful. We've had a family friend come take a look at it and our landlords sent a heater guy out twice to try and fix it. I'm honestly not even sure that what we decided the problem was, is really the problem. If it is true, it's an awful truth and I don't understand why we even have a heater like this if it's probably going to freeze up and not work when we really need it to. That's quite a long story I'm too exhausted to tell.
The good news is that I'm back for another dose of Wishful Living. It couldn't have come at a better time. Don't get me wrong, I love our little old house. However, it was/is definitely the last place I want to be when the heater stops working. So here we go......
Today was the wedding anniversary for my pastor and his wife. They have done SO much for my family that I raised my hand more quickly and eagerly than a teacher's pet when they asked if anyone could watch their tween/teen kids this afternoon so they could go to a movie. It's not often we find great opportunities where we can give back to others in need - but this we could do. I'm so glad he let them come over despite the age difference of our children. My girls adore his kids so much. His kids are 4th grade, 6th grade, and 7th graders. It was good to hang with them and get to know them better. My girls just adore my pastor's kids. They really look up to them, which is cool to see them have great role models.
That being said, we're trying to get better connected with tweens/teens. There's a generation there who will be leading my children through their lives. It's a generation I don't know a lot about.
So this week, I'm wishfully living in this teen/tween room in an attempt to better understand them. I think this is something my girls would love (minus the Barbie logo on the beds - which I think they'll outgrow by then).
And this is probably close to the carefree joy of what living in their room would sound like....
The good news is that I'm back for another dose of Wishful Living. It couldn't have come at a better time. Don't get me wrong, I love our little old house. However, it was/is definitely the last place I want to be when the heater stops working. So here we go......
Today was the wedding anniversary for my pastor and his wife. They have done SO much for my family that I raised my hand more quickly and eagerly than a teacher's pet when they asked if anyone could watch their tween/teen kids this afternoon so they could go to a movie. It's not often we find great opportunities where we can give back to others in need - but this we could do. I'm so glad he let them come over despite the age difference of our children. My girls adore his kids so much. His kids are 4th grade, 6th grade, and 7th graders. It was good to hang with them and get to know them better. My girls just adore my pastor's kids. They really look up to them, which is cool to see them have great role models.
That being said, we're trying to get better connected with tweens/teens. There's a generation there who will be leading my children through their lives. It's a generation I don't know a lot about.
So this week, I'm wishfully living in this teen/tween room in an attempt to better understand them. I think this is something my girls would love (minus the Barbie logo on the beds - which I think they'll outgrow by then).
And this is probably close to the carefree joy of what living in their room would sound like....
Monday, February 7, 2011
The Jones Family
Truth: I'm having a really hard time remembering I no longer live next to the Jones family. Surely you've heard the phrase "keeping up with the Jones'"... and that's what I'm talking about.
We used to have to have everything that everyone else had... and then some. We managed our money horribly. One year for father's day, I took hubs on a surprise trip to an outlet mall a few hours away from our South Texas residence and we stayed in a hotel and spent a lot of money. The girls even came with us. One thing he wanted to buy was a Dave Ramsey book. We started reading it as soon as we got back to the hotel. Our lives changed that night. We counted up what our income was and compared it to how much we were spending on crap. It hurt to see how much we could have been saving had we just not cared about having things. It was a hard habit to break. We chanted the Dave's phrase "Live today like no one else, so later you can live like no one else." It basically means that we should save more and spend less so we'll be financially secure in our future. Others won't because we're all trying to keep up with what our neighbor has - and even out do them at times.
Fast forward to today. Life took a strange turn and we no longer make the kind of money we used to. Sure, we can live without a lot of things and kind of pride ourselves on doing so. In fact, it annoys me to see others throw away so much of their own money on things like we used to - especially when they have a couple of jobs just to support their spending habits. It's certainly a hard life living on so little, but it's how it is right now. And we do okay.
This time of year is really hard. We come out of Christmas where we may have received things that we've drooled over but wouldn't dare spend our own money on. Then, through January, we spend the gift cards - still allowing us to have things we wouldn't normally have. February comes around and I have a birthday where I may or may not be able to squeeze one more thing I want out of someone. Then, there's tax returns.
And that's where we are now (since I received my birthday present early from mom and dad). We just filed our taxes and were able to find out what our tax return is going to look like. We certainly have our fair share of bills to catch up on. But there's going to be some extra money there once those things are taken care of. My husband and I are both having a hard time not mentally spending that money already on things others have. I want a better cell phone. He wants a better computer. We want a bigger/more modern television (we have a 13 inch box tv). We want lots of stuff that we don't have - but aren't currently struggling without.
My brain is reminding me that every time we start spending like this, one month later, we're in trouble again. So of course, I'm thinking we should save it. It will be sweet to not have to worry about bills in a few months when something goes wrong (like getting snowed in and not being able to work). It will be nice to have an emergency fund for the first time in our lives. We also need new tires on the van (our only vehicle).
We need to save this money. We just need to. But it's so hard right now to see extra money for the first time in a long time and not go back to spending it on stuff we've been missing out on. We're praying we'll do the right thing.
We used to have to have everything that everyone else had... and then some. We managed our money horribly. One year for father's day, I took hubs on a surprise trip to an outlet mall a few hours away from our South Texas residence and we stayed in a hotel and spent a lot of money. The girls even came with us. One thing he wanted to buy was a Dave Ramsey book. We started reading it as soon as we got back to the hotel. Our lives changed that night. We counted up what our income was and compared it to how much we were spending on crap. It hurt to see how much we could have been saving had we just not cared about having things. It was a hard habit to break. We chanted the Dave's phrase "Live today like no one else, so later you can live like no one else." It basically means that we should save more and spend less so we'll be financially secure in our future. Others won't because we're all trying to keep up with what our neighbor has - and even out do them at times.
Fast forward to today. Life took a strange turn and we no longer make the kind of money we used to. Sure, we can live without a lot of things and kind of pride ourselves on doing so. In fact, it annoys me to see others throw away so much of their own money on things like we used to - especially when they have a couple of jobs just to support their spending habits. It's certainly a hard life living on so little, but it's how it is right now. And we do okay.
This time of year is really hard. We come out of Christmas where we may have received things that we've drooled over but wouldn't dare spend our own money on. Then, through January, we spend the gift cards - still allowing us to have things we wouldn't normally have. February comes around and I have a birthday where I may or may not be able to squeeze one more thing I want out of someone. Then, there's tax returns.
And that's where we are now (since I received my birthday present early from mom and dad). We just filed our taxes and were able to find out what our tax return is going to look like. We certainly have our fair share of bills to catch up on. But there's going to be some extra money there once those things are taken care of. My husband and I are both having a hard time not mentally spending that money already on things others have. I want a better cell phone. He wants a better computer. We want a bigger/more modern television (we have a 13 inch box tv). We want lots of stuff that we don't have - but aren't currently struggling without.
My brain is reminding me that every time we start spending like this, one month later, we're in trouble again. So of course, I'm thinking we should save it. It will be sweet to not have to worry about bills in a few months when something goes wrong (like getting snowed in and not being able to work). It will be nice to have an emergency fund for the first time in our lives. We also need new tires on the van (our only vehicle).
We need to save this money. We just need to. But it's so hard right now to see extra money for the first time in a long time and not go back to spending it on stuff we've been missing out on. We're praying we'll do the right thing.
Friday, February 4, 2011
An Inspiring Week
I've been completely out of sorts this week. You'd think being snowed in for a week, I would have found tons of things online that inspire me. But that's not the case. I actually struggled to find inspiration this week. What I did find, I think is really great, but wish there was a little more to share with you.
First up... is this recipe for Barbecue Chili with Corn. Why? Well other than the fact it sounds delicious, there are actually no bottles of BBQ sauce that go into this. The barbecue flavor is all in the ingredients. I'm sure there's some sauce in the can of beans, but not an entire bottle like I would have expected. It's also less than 500 calories per serving.
I've been making tons of these reuseable grocery bags from old tshirts and even some little purse/bags for my girls using their old shirts. It's kept me sane and hopefully I'll be able to sell some to make up for hubs not being able to work much this week due to the blizzard that rolled through and snowed us all in. How much would you pay?
This pillow is soooo adorable! One of these days I'll have great sewing skills like this... but for now I'm happy to have made my patchwork sewing machine cover. This pillow overwhelms me at the moment.
This Cow Bento would surely get my children to eat healthier, right? They do actually eat pretty healthy but there are days they get in these crazy moods and refuse all food and it makes me sad. This would cheer us all up for sure. I need a cow cookie cutter ASAP!
I'm pretty sure this patchwork chair from Urban Outfitters would be perfect for the little space we do have left for extra seating. I want extra seating in our living room so badly, but without putting the couch in front of the window (which I hate for so many reasons) there's just a little open corner for a chair. This would do the trick without sucking up floor space. And I love that it's patchwork which inspires me to sew more often. Alas, I do not have $250 to spend on it. It would be a splurge to spend $50. I do have a birthday coming up and if anyone out there has an extra $250 to spend, I'll give you my address where you can have it shipped. :)
And um.... this is quite possibly the funniest commercial I've seen in a while. It brings me back to happy memories of my childhood. Even if it doesn't do that for you... it's soooooooooo stinkin' cute!
So let's hear it! What inspired you this week?
First up... is this recipe for Barbecue Chili with Corn. Why? Well other than the fact it sounds delicious, there are actually no bottles of BBQ sauce that go into this. The barbecue flavor is all in the ingredients. I'm sure there's some sauce in the can of beans, but not an entire bottle like I would have expected. It's also less than 500 calories per serving.
I've been making tons of these reuseable grocery bags from old tshirts and even some little purse/bags for my girls using their old shirts. It's kept me sane and hopefully I'll be able to sell some to make up for hubs not being able to work much this week due to the blizzard that rolled through and snowed us all in. How much would you pay?
This pillow is soooo adorable! One of these days I'll have great sewing skills like this... but for now I'm happy to have made my patchwork sewing machine cover. This pillow overwhelms me at the moment.
This Cow Bento would surely get my children to eat healthier, right? They do actually eat pretty healthy but there are days they get in these crazy moods and refuse all food and it makes me sad. This would cheer us all up for sure. I need a cow cookie cutter ASAP!
I'm pretty sure this patchwork chair from Urban Outfitters would be perfect for the little space we do have left for extra seating. I want extra seating in our living room so badly, but without putting the couch in front of the window (which I hate for so many reasons) there's just a little open corner for a chair. This would do the trick without sucking up floor space. And I love that it's patchwork which inspires me to sew more often. Alas, I do not have $250 to spend on it. It would be a splurge to spend $50. I do have a birthday coming up and if anyone out there has an extra $250 to spend, I'll give you my address where you can have it shipped. :)
And um.... this is quite possibly the funniest commercial I've seen in a while. It brings me back to happy memories of my childhood. Even if it doesn't do that for you... it's soooooooooo stinkin' cute!
So let's hear it! What inspired you this week?
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Wishful Living
This week's "Wishful Living" post is coming to you a day early. We have some family coming in this weekend and I wanted to make sure I get this posted.
As I mentioned earlier this week, we've been snowed in and our suburb has been literally shut down. So this week I'm wishfully living in my favorite place in the whole US - Albuquerque, NM. I remember when HGTV had their 2010 dream home near there (in Sandia Park, NM). I wanted to win that house SO BADLY. We loooooooove Albuquerque and really want to live there. Really, the only thing that's stopping us right now is the fact that we're near family and wouldn't be if we moved there. But gah - one of these days.... Albuquerque will be ours!
As I mentioned earlier this week, we've been snowed in and our suburb has been literally shut down. So this week I'm wishfully living in my favorite place in the whole US - Albuquerque, NM. I remember when HGTV had their 2010 dream home near there (in Sandia Park, NM). I wanted to win that house SO BADLY. We loooooooove Albuquerque and really want to live there. Really, the only thing that's stopping us right now is the fact that we're near family and wouldn't be if we moved there. But gah - one of these days.... Albuquerque will be ours!
This week I'm wishfully living in the 2010 HGTV dream home in NM to avoid all this snow.
Even if I were stuck indoors for days, I could deal with it in a home like this!
Even if I were stuck indoors for days, I could deal with it in a home like this!
Feel free to come on over and enjoy it with me by viewing more pictures of it right here.
Here is what my life in that home sounds like....
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
WWJD?
WWJD?I have seen this posted all over my Facebook and Twitter pages more times this week than I have in a whole year. I remember the bracelets being so popular in the 1990s. It might be making a comeback or I might have just fallen off the bandwagon for a couple of decades and not realized it never went out of style.
Whatever happened there, I am seeing it being overused and used in ridiculous situations.
I do love reading about Jesus and the life He lived on this Earth. I understand that we should live our lives as close to the way He lived His as possible.
"Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did." 1John 2:6
"And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the Day of Judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world." 1John 4:17
That being said, our world is so different now than it was the years Jesus walked the Earth that we can't possibly know what Jesus would really do in every life situation. We couldn't possibly know if Jesus would lay out in the snow in his bathing suit to have a good time. We couldn't possibly know if Jesus would prefer an iPhone or Android. There's no way to tell what television shows He would be interested in or if He would start each day with a cup of coffee. Would He agree that Starbucks is overpriced?
Some things are just a little ridiculous to think about and I think we need to stop overusing the phrase so much. It's getting a little out of hand. Let's stick to what we know about the guy.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Snow Day Project
Our suburb literally shut down today. Our police department actually mentioned that snow plows were going to take care of major roadways but that they would only be open for emergency personel. Everyone else was to stay indoors. Many are stuck at work. Those who were stuck on the road were rescued and taken to the local community center where they will spend at least one night. There were no rides home. The rest of us are staying warm in our homes. We ended up with at least 21 inches of snow and between 3-5 foot snow drifts. Too much snow, however, for the kiddos to go play in.
So what did I do? I finished up my patchwork sewing machine cover (using my vintage fabric). I really love how it turned out. What do you think? I think my sewing machine will be happy staying warm this winter. :)
So what did I do? I finished up my patchwork sewing machine cover (using my vintage fabric). I really love how it turned out. What do you think? I think my sewing machine will be happy staying warm this winter. :)
Sunday, January 30, 2011
That Darn Wallpaper!
This is the old ugly wallpaper that has been bothering me since we moved in. I just don't like it and it wasn't hung very well (bubbly). So I decided to do something about it.
$9 later... it's still bubbly because of what was underneath, but it's better prettier. Eventually we'd like to cover the half wall with fabric, but wrapping paper and double sided tape was a much cheaper idea for now.
The World Beyond Our Needs
We've been here almost a month now and I'm loving it but I am also really starting to feel the down side of never having money for anything but rent and bills and groceries and gasoline.
This is why we don't get out much. Going out costs money and that's something we don't have a lot of. Yesterday was our small group day and although my four year old was sick and we couldn't go, I hesitated to go anyway. Why? Because it was someone's birthday. Although they said to not bring gifts and only give a card, I couldn't even afford a card (and I'm running out of my daughters' construction paper). I was told once that dinner is taken care of, but usually everyone brings a little snack or something to add to the meal. I can't do that. I'm already struggling to feed my family with food stamps. I know one day I will suck it up and go anyway. Although people may not understand just how bad it can be for us financially, I just don't want to go sometimes because I'm not able to help the way I want to. I want to buy a card. I want to bring food to share. It's just easier at times to decline the invitation than burden myself with all that I cannot do but want to. That sounds awful, but please keep reading.
Another example of how going out costs money is when my parents invite us out to lunch at Cracker Barrel. Yes, they pay for our meal. But then we're all subjected to walking through the country store filled with beautiful things I really really want to buy. And I'm not the only one. The girls go nuts over the toys in that place. They never understand why I have to always say no to things they want. They deserve things. They're really good kids. I'm thankful when my parents end up buying what they want, but I hate it when I can't.
There are weeks where we'll have a little extra money, but we usually put that toward turning this house into a home and decorating it to our tastes. We don't spend a lot of money on it though. For example, today I decided to take care of the ugly wallpaper in the dining room. Our original intention was to rip it off and put some other wallpaper up that is more modern and pretty. We just can't get permission to do that - nor can we really afford wallpaper. Our next intention was to buy some fabric and tack it up along the wall. That way we could cover the wallpaper and remove the fabric later without damaging the wallpaper. Although cheaper than wallpaper, it wasn't cheap enough. So I ended up picking up some super discounted wrapping paper and some double sided tape and hung some wrapping paper today. It cost a whopping $12. Other times we'll spend the extra money on the girls - like sending my four year old to pompom clinic because she loves it.
We do what we can where we can, but it's often not enough.
We save up for what we can, but everything else we have to pass on. Hardly anyone ever understands, but we're learning to deal with that too. It's not that we don't appreciate your invitation to coming over for dinner, but it's just hard on us to always have moments come up where we know we can't do everything we want to do. It's depressing to tell yourself such a negative word like "no" over and over and over again. "No" you can't bring over extra food to share at small group. "No" you can't buy those lovely things at Cracker Barrel. "No" you can't buy things from the school fundraiser to support your daughter's school. "No" you cannot buy that necklace even though profits go to charity.
Sometimes, it's easier to just avoid the situation. Other times it's the timing of what's happening. Sometimes I can't do things because I can't afford the fast food we'd need to eat because there's not enough time to go home and make dinner. I'm sure we will work through all of this over the year, but for now, this is what we're dealing with.
It all sounds so selfish, I know. But these are my real feelings. I can't ignore how I feel all of the time.
You know what I am happy about though? I am happy to pay rent. I am happy to pay our bills. Why? Because it means that my little love-made family is together and surviving on our own. Because I see God providing and meeting our needs. And that's all that we've ever prayed for - just for our needs to be met.
This is why we don't get out much. Going out costs money and that's something we don't have a lot of. Yesterday was our small group day and although my four year old was sick and we couldn't go, I hesitated to go anyway. Why? Because it was someone's birthday. Although they said to not bring gifts and only give a card, I couldn't even afford a card (and I'm running out of my daughters' construction paper). I was told once that dinner is taken care of, but usually everyone brings a little snack or something to add to the meal. I can't do that. I'm already struggling to feed my family with food stamps. I know one day I will suck it up and go anyway. Although people may not understand just how bad it can be for us financially, I just don't want to go sometimes because I'm not able to help the way I want to. I want to buy a card. I want to bring food to share. It's just easier at times to decline the invitation than burden myself with all that I cannot do but want to. That sounds awful, but please keep reading.
Another example of how going out costs money is when my parents invite us out to lunch at Cracker Barrel. Yes, they pay for our meal. But then we're all subjected to walking through the country store filled with beautiful things I really really want to buy. And I'm not the only one. The girls go nuts over the toys in that place. They never understand why I have to always say no to things they want. They deserve things. They're really good kids. I'm thankful when my parents end up buying what they want, but I hate it when I can't.
There are weeks where we'll have a little extra money, but we usually put that toward turning this house into a home and decorating it to our tastes. We don't spend a lot of money on it though. For example, today I decided to take care of the ugly wallpaper in the dining room. Our original intention was to rip it off and put some other wallpaper up that is more modern and pretty. We just can't get permission to do that - nor can we really afford wallpaper. Our next intention was to buy some fabric and tack it up along the wall. That way we could cover the wallpaper and remove the fabric later without damaging the wallpaper. Although cheaper than wallpaper, it wasn't cheap enough. So I ended up picking up some super discounted wrapping paper and some double sided tape and hung some wrapping paper today. It cost a whopping $12. Other times we'll spend the extra money on the girls - like sending my four year old to pompom clinic because she loves it.
We do what we can where we can, but it's often not enough.
We save up for what we can, but everything else we have to pass on. Hardly anyone ever understands, but we're learning to deal with that too. It's not that we don't appreciate your invitation to coming over for dinner, but it's just hard on us to always have moments come up where we know we can't do everything we want to do. It's depressing to tell yourself such a negative word like "no" over and over and over again. "No" you can't bring over extra food to share at small group. "No" you can't buy those lovely things at Cracker Barrel. "No" you can't buy things from the school fundraiser to support your daughter's school. "No" you cannot buy that necklace even though profits go to charity.
Sometimes, it's easier to just avoid the situation. Other times it's the timing of what's happening. Sometimes I can't do things because I can't afford the fast food we'd need to eat because there's not enough time to go home and make dinner. I'm sure we will work through all of this over the year, but for now, this is what we're dealing with.
It all sounds so selfish, I know. But these are my real feelings. I can't ignore how I feel all of the time.
You know what I am happy about though? I am happy to pay rent. I am happy to pay our bills. Why? Because it means that my little love-made family is together and surviving on our own. Because I see God providing and meeting our needs. And that's all that we've ever prayed for - just for our needs to be met.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
An Inspiring Week
Here are the things inspiring my creativity this week....
This website is hilarious. It also doesn't make me feel so bad about how bad the bad things about this house are. Sure, we may not be able to remove that ugly wallpaper - but it could be worse! This website features photos people use to try to sell their homes and it's just horrible! lol
I really want this tea towel calendar to hang on my wall in the kitchen. I remember my grandmothers always having cloth calendars on their walls. There are tons of them on this website, but this one was my favorite.
JJ Heller, recently bought some of this $150 wallpaper for her Phoenix home. I adore it so so so so much. It's like it was made just for me. Definitely wallpaper I wouldn't mind hanging in our home. But at $150 for a double roll, I think I'll have to vicariously live through JJ Heller instead.
My friend, Tasha, tweeted this picture of an adorable heeled shoe that I would really love to wear. It's available at Tulsa's Shoe Gypsy store. And at $95 a pair, they willprobably never make it home with me.
And in case you didn't see me post this video over on Facebook, you may view it now! This video gives me hope that I can do anything. Who knew kazoos could even sound like that?
What's inspiring you this week? I'd love to hear about it!
This website is hilarious. It also doesn't make me feel so bad about how bad the bad things about this house are. Sure, we may not be able to remove that ugly wallpaper - but it could be worse! This website features photos people use to try to sell their homes and it's just horrible! lol
I really want this tea towel calendar to hang on my wall in the kitchen. I remember my grandmothers always having cloth calendars on their walls. There are tons of them on this website, but this one was my favorite.
JJ Heller, recently bought some of this $150 wallpaper for her Phoenix home. I adore it so so so so much. It's like it was made just for me. Definitely wallpaper I wouldn't mind hanging in our home. But at $150 for a double roll, I think I'll have to vicariously live through JJ Heller instead.
My friend, Tasha, tweeted this picture of an adorable heeled shoe that I would really love to wear. It's available at Tulsa's Shoe Gypsy store. And at $95 a pair, they will
I cannot wait to start on a project like this Dahlia Flower Brooch. I may not get around to it by Valentine's Day, but it would make a pretty special Mother's Day gift, too. (Another fabulous find thanks to JJ Heller)
What's inspiring you this week? I'd love to hear about it!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Moving On
I heard this song for the first time tonight and it reminds me so much of stuff I was thinking about while writing this post the other day. Enjoy.
I know you never meant to hurt me.
Never meant to make my
eyes water like they do now.
Forgive me if I don't come around.
I hope no one ever treats you
any less than what you deserve.
But don't you wait
cuz I'm moving on.
Don't you wait
cuz I'm moving on.
I never meant to hurt you.
I only tried to care for
all the troubles that I could see.
I gave you all I could be.
So please take this as a good bye.
I swear I'm dying inside for you.
But don't you wait
cuz I'm moving on.
No don't you wait
cuz I'm moving on.
Don't you wait
cuz I'm moving on.
don't you wait
cuz I'm moving on.
Timmy Curran - "Moving On"
I know you never meant to hurt me.
Never meant to make my
eyes water like they do now.
Forgive me if I don't come around.
I hope no one ever treats you
any less than what you deserve.
But don't you wait
cuz I'm moving on.
Don't you wait
cuz I'm moving on.
I never meant to hurt you.
I only tried to care for
all the troubles that I could see.
I gave you all I could be.
So please take this as a good bye.
I swear I'm dying inside for you.
But don't you wait
cuz I'm moving on.
No don't you wait
cuz I'm moving on.
Don't you wait
cuz I'm moving on.
don't you wait
cuz I'm moving on.
Wishful Living
I wish I could remember the blog I surfed the other day that had pictures from magazines posted once a week of that being the place she wishes she lived. I loved that idea because I often dream my way into pictures and wish to live in them. Since I don't want to flat out steal someone else's idea... I thought I would give the idea my own spin.
Every Friday I'll post a picture of a place I'm wishfully living in that week and a song of what my life there sounds like.
Every Friday I'll post a picture of a place I'm wishfully living in that week and a song of what my life there sounds like.
Here's where I'm wishfully living this week:
Funny enough, this comes from a blog called "Ugly House Photos". Sure the rest of the house is ugly, but there are so many elements of this living room that I love. And right now, it's reminding me a lot of my own house - things I love about it and things I'd love to change/re-do.
Here's what my life in that photo sounds like:
Letting Go
While it hasn't been updated in a while, I am so inspired by this blog. I find something new every day that inspires me for a project in my own home. That blog lead me to read this blog. And that blog lead me to this great quote:
I think about these things a lot, actually. And I believe it matters most when in reference to beliefs, faith and our life as Christians.
What matters most...
How well you lived.
How well you loved.
How well you let go.
How well you let go.
I think about these things a lot, actually. And I believe it matters most when in reference to beliefs, faith and our life as Christians.
How well do we live according to how the Bible calls us to live? How well do we love as God loves us? How well do we let go of our troubles and let God have total control of our lives?
Letting go is certainly the hardest part for me. It's so easy to say God is in control of my life and I live my life to glorify the Lord. But do I really? If I really did, then I wouldn't worry as much as I do. I wouldn't be sad as often as I am. John 14:27 says, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." It's still so hard to let go and let God take over sometimes. I know God has never failed me when I've called on Him, but I honestly sometimes still forget that I don't have to do this on my own. So.... I'm a work in progress.
While trying to get through the biggest break up of my entire life, I prayed this prayer to God. I told God that I knew I had to let him go. After hearing him say out loud that he was tired of doing the right thing all of the time and wanted to do what he wanted to do and didn't care what God thought about it. I told him that unfortunately for him, I did care what God thought and I couldn't marry (we were engaged) someone who didn't care about God anymore. I hung up on him and poured my heart out to God and admitted that I still loved this guy with my human heart and that my human heart wouldn't let me let go. I needed God to step in and help me let go. And God was faithful in this. A few days after I heard these awful things he said, I think God answered my prayer. This guy had called and let me know that he ran into an ex-girlfriend and thought he might still love her. He said he loved me but was really confused at his feelings toward her and thought he still might carry a love for her too. God knows I don't deal with things like this very well at all and it made it easy to break it off with him. I told him I was breaking off our engagement because I wasn't going to marry someone who might love someone else more than me and certainly not even if she were that close of a second place to me. While I told him he needed to figure it out and I was breaking up with him and calling off the engagement to give him time to do that, I knew that was really God stepping in and helping my human heart let him go. Of course, I ended up calling him back up a month later and he apologized and was ecstatic to hear from me and said he knew as soon as we hung up that I really was the one he loved and the one he wanted to marry. So the engagement was back on. But just before my birthday that following year (and a couple of months before the wedding), he stopped calling for no reason at all. It's like he just disappeared. I left him message after message and no reply. I thought maybe he felt bad about missing my birthday but assured him it was alright and I just wanted to know he was alright. Then once my great grandfather passed away (whom he adored), and there was no reply, I knew it was over. God stepped in once more and didn't give my heart a chance to feel sorry for him and eventually marry him after further apologies. Although crushed at the time, I knew deep down that this was God's move and He was protecting my future from further hurt by this man. I never heard from this guy again till shortly after my engagement to my (now) husband. I think that was a good way to have closure and let go of the past to be able to completely move forward with the relationship God planned for me. God is funny like that. Things we don't understand now, we just have to trust that what's happening is right. And trust me, sometimes it's really hard to understand how something like cancer or death is "right." But it will all be revealed in His time. And if we're truly living our lives for Him, we can wait for that big reveal because we know and trust Him to do good for us and take care of us. The Bible is filled with these promises.
"All things work together for good to them that love God and are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Bluegrass Lovin'
Garden & Gun magazine. Hands down - my favorite magazine subscription. It is a Southern lifestyle magazine that's all about the magic of the new South – the sporting culture, the food, the music, the art, the literature, the people, and the ideas.
In the issue I received yesterday, there was a huge article about Bluegrass Nation (I guess bluegrass bands are becoming quite popular - which makes me equally sad and happy - happy because I love bluegrass and sad because I don't want to see it overdone by people who shouldn't be doing it).
Hubs and I sat at the computer for about 2 hours looking up the bands listed in the article on youtube and watching all of their videos (they list 25 artists). There were a few bands I was less than thrilled about. However - there were quite a few that were uh-may-zing! I'm only going to share one of them with you tonight (the rest later). Trust me that the decision on which one to start with is a tough one. It's like choosing a favorite child. Impossible. So I wrote down my favorites, closed my eyes and pointed to the paper.
Introducing Pokey LaFarge: "LaLaBlues. You won't believe the voice that comes out of this dude's mouth!
In the issue I received yesterday, there was a huge article about Bluegrass Nation (I guess bluegrass bands are becoming quite popular - which makes me equally sad and happy - happy because I love bluegrass and sad because I don't want to see it overdone by people who shouldn't be doing it).
Hubs and I sat at the computer for about 2 hours looking up the bands listed in the article on youtube and watching all of their videos (they list 25 artists). There were a few bands I was less than thrilled about. However - there were quite a few that were uh-may-zing! I'm only going to share one of them with you tonight (the rest later). Trust me that the decision on which one to start with is a tough one. It's like choosing a favorite child. Impossible. So I wrote down my favorites, closed my eyes and pointed to the paper.
Introducing Pokey LaFarge: "LaLaBlues. You won't believe the voice that comes out of this dude's mouth!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
It Is Complete
When we put down the deposit on this house, we sent out a list of things we'd need for our home in hopes someone out there might have a few things they could donate and we wouldn't have to try to figure out how to furnish our entire house all at once. Deposits (including utility) and rent pretty much sucked our bank account dry. Living with parents for so long, we didn't have much of our own stuff.
I'm writing today withgreat amazing news! Today was the day the final item on our list was delivered/donated to us. I am so humbled and blessed to know so many great people who have stepped up to donate items for our home. God went above and beyond what we asked for. We went from sleeping on a sofa bed to owning a king size bed! We received a washer and dryer. We even received a refrigerator! God had people constantly coming to us offering us things they no longer needed and we ended up with a few things not even on our list. We even had to turn down some things because we already had them or we didn't have room for them.
We are literally living in the house that love built. Almost everything in our home came from others. I think that's the best part about living here - looking around we're reminded of so many people who love and care for us.
Today I put up one of those sticky wall thingies. Basically you peel the back off, stick it to the wall and then try to peel the backing off while getting the lettering to stick to the wall. Ours says, "All I have needed, Thy Hand hath Provided, Great is Thy Faithfulness Lord unto Me." It's so true and will always be a reminder of how faithful God has been to us.
I'm writing today with
We are literally living in the house that love built. Almost everything in our home came from others. I think that's the best part about living here - looking around we're reminded of so many people who love and care for us.
Today I put up one of those sticky wall thingies. Basically you peel the back off, stick it to the wall and then try to peel the backing off while getting the lettering to stick to the wall. Ours says, "All I have needed, Thy Hand hath Provided, Great is Thy Faithfulness Lord unto Me." It's so true and will always be a reminder of how faithful God has been to us.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
An Inspiring Week
I've found a lot of things that have inspired my creativity this week. Now I'm going to share them with you....
Although we don't have permission (yet) to switch out our tacky wallpaper, I am loving this one from Home Depot.
If I were ever to have another baby (which is impossible now) I think they would be wearing this all of the time. It even has a super cute hat and booties to match.
I really really want this Whale Tissue Holder in my house. There is also one in red (and other colors).
These rain boots were recently spotted on Suri Cruise but I want them for my girls SO badly. I could never afford a $40 pair of shoes though - for anyone in the family. And of course, I'd need two pairs so the girls could be the same. Actually, make that three because my stepdaughter would want them too. $120? Heck no. Can't do it. Not even for something this cute.
I'm taking a short break from my sewing business to learn how to make this. It's what I decided to use my vintage fabric for. So far I've screwed it up a few times, but I'm figuring it out by trial and error. I've never tried patchwork before, but I think I'm catching on.
Although we don't have permission (yet) to switch out our tacky wallpaper, I am loving this one from Home Depot.
If I were ever to have another baby (which is impossible now) I think they would be wearing this all of the time. It even has a super cute hat and booties to match.
I really really want this Whale Tissue Holder in my house. There is also one in red (and other colors).
These rain boots were recently spotted on Suri Cruise but I want them for my girls SO badly. I could never afford a $40 pair of shoes though - for anyone in the family. And of course, I'd need two pairs so the girls could be the same. Actually, make that three because my stepdaughter would want them too. $120? Heck no. Can't do it. Not even for something this cute.
I'm taking a short break from my sewing business to learn how to make this. It's what I decided to use my vintage fabric for. So far I've screwed it up a few times, but I'm figuring it out by trial and error. I've never tried patchwork before, but I think I'm catching on.
Last but not least, have you watched this video? This guy found a roll of film and is looking for the owners of it. BEAUTIFUL pictures and I love how the guy in the video describes what the photos mean. lol I do hope he finds the owners of the film and creates another video about it.
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