The Afterlife.

I was awake until 2:30am last night this morning answering some very serious questions from my 4 year old. I can't stop wondering how much she really needed to know at her age, but I also hope I didn't withhold too much information from her that she really wanted to know. I don't like answering her with "you're not old enough to know." If she has questions about something (even some this serious), I want to be able to answer her questions. Her questions last night were particularly tough.


It was a quiet movie night complete with mattresses on the living room floor and me on the couch. My 3 year old had already fallen asleep and my 4 year old really wanted to watch Felicity (American Girl movie). All was well until Felicity's grandfather died. Suddenly, my 4 year old didn't understand. "What happened?" she asked. "Her grandfather died." I answered. "Why? What happened?" she continued.

I tried explaining that Felicity lived a very long time ago, before there was Tylenol and other good medicine to make us better. I explained that back then, sometimes when you would get sick, you would die because there wasn't good medicine like we have now.

She continued, "Well, why was he in the box and being buried?"

"Because when we die, our bodies are buried, but our souls go to Heaven." I answered.

It was then I realized I had just opened the can of worms. I said the word soul to my 4 year old.

By my Christian beliefs, I had to continue explaining what happens to you when you die. That brought up more questions about what happens if you do not know Jesus. I told her that you will live in Hell with the Devil - who's name is Satan.

She asked what Satan's last name was. I said he didn't have one. So then she said we need to think of a last name for Jesus and for Satan. lol

It was question after question after question.

We've spent her entire childhood teaching her about who Jesus and God are. I never really thought of talking about why we believe and the difference between Heaven and Hell. Perhaps that was me trying to protect her innocent mind from picturing the two extremes. I was never sure what the appropriate age was to teach them about death and how beliefs in God come into play in the afterlife. Thankfully, she was really cool about it all and made me laugh a lot through all my nervousness - thinking about giving Jesus and Satan last names, wondering if Satan beats you up in Hell ("because that's pretty mean and bad"), and listening to her innocent curiosity about death.

Clearly, conversations about the afterlife was not something I wanted to happen till she were older. I'm not even sure I wanted to have them at all. This is real life though. As a parent, I'm realizing I don't get to pick and choose when to and when not to have certain conversations. There's not enough education or life experience to teach me how to have those conversations either. My best advice if this should ever happen to any of you is to follow their lead. If they want to know a little more than what you've explained, believe me, they'll ask.