When I say we're blessed - I mean it. For having very little money to live off of, we survive pretty well. Anything we've been in need of, someone has stepped forward and met that need for us. Sometimes we end up with more offers than we need. For instance, moving into this new house, we had several people offer beds, kitchen tables, dishes, silverware, etc. We try to never take more than we need. It does feel weird turning someone down after asking for a need to be met, but we don't have a use for more than one bed or kitchen table and only enough cabinet space for so many dishes and silverware. We are so grateful that people are wanting to bless us with things, but there does come a time we have to start saying no.
That being said, there is an issue I'm having with blessing boundaries (when to start saying no to good deeds). I mentioned Tuesday that we often miss out on coffee dates, movie nights, lunch dates, etc because we just don't have the extra money to hang out. A lot of people know this and our current friends love us anyway. However, our friends do like to give us things quite often (such as clothing and toys) and sometimes even bring food or invite us over for some food.
I know what our needs are and I know when we're blessed. But when do I need to start saying no to gifts and good deeds? I try to never take more than we need or take more of things we already have. But things being given to us are not things we have, but could survive without. Let me throw out an example. A friend of ours recently gave us a huge (3 foot) Barbie house, tons of other toys, a George Foreman grill, a quesadilla maker, etc. They said they didn't need or want those things anymore and knew we didn't have much and wanted to bless us with them.
That's pretty much what everyone tells us when they bring stuff over for us. They just want to bless us and know we couldn't afford these things on our own. It's starting to weird me out a little though. Maybe because we've never been this blessed before? We're talking almost daily blessings and good deeds! I'm so afraid of the person who will come into our life and see how much we're being given and think we're just using everyone for free stuff. That's far from the truth.
So when do we need to say no? What is the rule here? We wouldn't ever take anything we don't want or can't use just because it's being given to us. We only keep what we can use. Maybe this is a lesson in friendship that we're learning - that this is just what real friends do for each other. But I don't ever want anyone thinking that we are trying to live off of everyone else. I don't ever want our friends to think we're taking them for granted. We're just not used to this. People have never helped us like this before. But this situation is happening to us a lot lately. It's a huge blessing to us that we are so grateful for, but I am kind of lost when it comes to the boundaries of blessings and good deeds.
Should I turn down that free lunch? Should I turn down that coffee? Should I turn down those clothes or toys? Or is it really okay to accept them as blessings and good deeds - even if it happens often? Do wealthy people ever question blessings and good deeds?
NO ONE could ever accuse you of living off others. That is what we're called to do for one another and I know that any time anyone in our New Heights family is in need your family will do everything you can to meet those needs. I've been thinking about blessings and how they come and go. We've been at a place where blessing was poured down on us from every direction and it was tremendous but often awkward to accept. Now that we can finally bless someone else I understand what a great joy it was for our loved ones to provide for us. Swim in it, revel in it and feel free to say no when you feel like saying no. Everyone will understand. It's so exciting to see they way we love as a body of believers and to know that anytime one of us needs help it's there in a big way. If this love is overwhelming, just think how much more our heavenly Father wants to pour out on us. This is just a taste!
ReplyDeleteMy grandma said that if you say no, you are denying someone else the blessing of giving. ;)
ReplyDeleteNo one who knows you would think you are a taker. Accept the blessings. Don't feel like you have to repay them. You do and will, in ways and times you don't know and can't anticipate. People who bless you are likely led to do so because they are blessed BY you in some way.
You can also pass on the blessing if it's things you don't need. You'll always find someone who DOES.